In case you haven’t heard, Lionsgate announced today that Borderlands is going to be turned into a tentpole movie! Yay! You could read more details here from Variety. Borderlands is the acclaimed RPG/FPS developed by Gearbox Software and produced by Take-Two Interactive. This though is the Top 5 Things I Want From the Borderlands Movie.
- Stupid Amounts of Humor
Have you ever found yourself snickering for hours on end at a video game? Have you ever described these tiny laughs snickers? Borderlands 2 is one of my favorite games of all time and it has a lot to do with the hilarity of the script. Take Tiny Tina for example, the completely crazy, wonderfully so, teenager who will blow up Bandits and do it with a smile. Then you have your big baddie in Handsome Jack who is a real charming son of a gun for a fella who wants you dead. The characters are so over the top and it knocks me off my chair every time. Scooter is a super redneck mechanic who feels like he could be ripped off a random episode of King of the Hill. Just…I think I need to go play this game again and feel like a terrible teenager again as fart jokes are made and curse words are thrown around willy nilly.
- Big Explosions
Borderlands would not feel like Borderlands without big explosions. The game at its core is about all the loot in the world. That probably wouldn’t be as fun as just watching tons of guns being fired at Bandits, Hyperion robots, and Kraggons and seeing them blast into a million pieces. Borderlands needs that Summer Blockbuster mentality because…well it just needs to I guess. Seems like maybe the perfect game to go that route with.
- Bigger Scope
Borderlands while being completely over the top crazy with characters and weaponry manages a scope that you wouldn’t typically associate with this tone of game. Borderland games are meaty games with tons to explore and I can only hope that when this comes to the big screen translates. I want ice, lava, deserts, fantasy lands (okay, won’t press it) and more. Pandora is a barren world but those areas are not lifeless, instead filled with wild creatures. Not taking advantage of Pandora’s potential would be such a massive let down. DON’T BRING ME DOWN BRUCE!
Claptrap is life. The unofficial, or is it official (?), Borderlands mascot is a CL4P-TP general purpose robot (THANKS BORDERLANDS WIKIA). A yellow robot that moves around on its one wheel is a king of the laughs. He is that friend from your youth that tried to share in the glory without doing much yet you loved him anyway. The moment you meet him in Borderlands 2 he describes this terrible situation but he can’t say it in less than an ecstatic tone of voice. It was at this moment that I knew I would be in love. Claptrap in cinemas is an obvious choice. He already has merchandise that the people want, with him in this film we can get even more. This glorious jerk should be an icon.
- The Beginning Not the End
Remember when I said that Borderlands and Pandora are big? I mean, arguably the best parts of Borderlands 2 were the DLCs that followed. Those experiences enriched the whole friggin’ thing. Well here’s the thing, a movie isn’t THAT big. This Borderlands movie won’t be able to squeeze all the nooks and crannies of Pandora into the 2 hours or so of film. That does not mean that this should the beginning or end of the Borderlands tale in movie form. Lionsgate has already tagged the film as a “tent pole” so obviously this won’t be a one and done affair (unless this is a major flop). But I am not talking solely about movies. No, movies are long endeavors from production to finish. With TV or online shows there is potential content that can bridge the gap between “tent poles”. Again, Borderlands is big and there is a massive world out there. A series that is at a far smaller scale while retaining the charm, the secret ingredient, of Borderlands should absolutely be a thing. Consider it like DLC for the movie. Or whatever better analogy you can think of.
Okay, so those are the five things I want from this Borderlands movie. What are some things you would like to see? Feel free to comment or tweet us @BelowAVGNerds on Twitter.